brain jam on toast!

Has this man ever popped up in your dreams? He scares the pants off me, personally, and not in a good way.

Useless fact of the day - There's a such thing as a Norwegian mustache club. I wonder if Toki is a member?

I slathered two streaks of my hair in bleach (not of the household variety) a couple of weeks ago, hoping for two tiny blonde streaks. As you might expect, they are reddish orange instead.



Meanwhile, an enormous, surprisingly tame rabbit has been hanging out in my yard this summer. I don't know what its name is, but it looks like a Num Num or possibly a George.

I'm selling Monster Bait: Closet on eBay in case you're interested, O friends list.

Last Saturday I was at Dirtfest, feasting my ears upon death metal, my skin upon the cancerous rays of the sun and my eyes upon many pretty mens who could pass for Vikings! It was amazing, especially considering that it was only a half an hour from my house and all of the bands on the Summer Slaughter tour were there. I got to see Necrophagist and stare in amazement at Muhammad's amazing guitar solos and attempt (unsuccessfully) to look up the skirt kilt of Ensiferum's Petri Lindroos. I also heard a bunch of new-to-me bands and giggled at girls who thought it would be super-keweliez to wear shiny, droopy-crotched leggings as pants, carry Coach bags to a metal show and do various horrible things to their hair until it resembled the partially melted mane of a My Little Pony.
Other highlights - one of the first bands I saw proclaimed, "THIS SONG IS ABOUT MASTURBATION. IT'S CALLED REIGN OF TERROR." Unless, you know, I heard it wrong. Which is possible. Also, someone threw a crutch into the mosh pit not once, but twice. Why? I have NO idea, but I was fully expecting a Metalocalype moment where some slack-jawed idiot gazes up in wonder as an object soars through the air, only to have it split their skull in two. Somehow, though, no one got hit.

( some of my favorite photos out of the bunch... the rest are on Facebook )

Fun times.

• Post ten of any pictures currently on your hard drive that you think are self-expressive.
• NO CAPTIONS!!! It must be like we're speaking with images and we have to interpret your visual language just like we have to interpret your words.
• They must ALREADY be on your hard drive - no googling or flickr! They have to have been saved to your folders sometime in the past. They must be something you've saved there because it resonated with you for some reason.
• You do NOT have to answer any questions about any of your pictures if you don't want to. You can make them as mysterious as you like. Or you can explain them away as much as you like.

( surprisingly safe for work )

For the past week, I've been traversing the Eastern Shore of Maryland and Virginia to visit relatives, stuff myself with seafood, see the ocean for a change instead of the Not-the-Ocean they're so fascinated with in Michigan, and go to the Best Junque Store in the History of the Universe. We also got amazing sushi and visited my favorite used bookstore ever, which is filled with stacks upon stacks of books and is apparently also the owner's home. If I missed anything important in Internets Land, tell me!
Most of these photos were taken from a moving car, and there aren't many of them because the batteries in my camera were slowly dying. If I could take a photo that didn't suck after fewer than 10 tries, I would have planned ahead and charged said batteries, but I can't, so whatever. Anyway.

( Photos! I kind of lied about there not being many of them. )

It's that time again! I'm drowning in perfume and need to clear out my BPAL stash. I'm selling Snow White '05, Love's Philosophy, El Dia De Reyes, a lot of 6 imps including Vampire Tears, and a bottle of Bien Loin D'Ici with 12 sticks of African Spice incense.
Sorry if you've already seen this on every damn social networking site I'm on. DERP.

I have no idea what these tiny beasts are, but the stepfather found them while he was cutting the grass!

"When people show you who they really are, believe them the first time." -Maya Angelou

I think this is the theme of 2009 for me.

In eight days, I will be in Ohio at the most metal slumber party in the history of giggling, squeeing and hair braiding!
There is going to be giggling, squeeing and hair braiding, right? XD

murph in a basket
Originally uploaded by misslicorice
There's a basket on the counter that all of the cats have taken turns posing in. Murph is so fat he spills out of it like an abundance of batter from a muffin cup.

...Now what?

Holy crap, this is awesome.

It occurs to me that six hours in the future, I'm going to be cursing myself for my idiocy and angrily dissecting the string of ill-advised decisions that led me to get so very little sleep.
Ah well!

On the astonishingly dull ride back to Big Rapids, I saw a road sign that said, "Water on road." It struck me as a good jumping point for haiku, so I started scribbling furiously and ended up with the following gems.

Water on road keeps
It simple, stupid. Bridges
Are much too advanced

Water on road lets
Adventurous mermaids roam
To mall and beyond

Water on road and
Sea monsters in street hasten
Certain death for all

Onslaughts of ice and
Warlike precipitation
March on water road

Around that point, "water on road" lost its charm and I looked for new muses.

Freefloating rubber
So bright and deadly to ducks
Pop that shit, pronto

Big Al, my lover
Kiss my arteries deadly
Embrace me again!

"RESTAURANT," land of
Inbred serial rapists
Will stare when you enter

Trees, trees, trees, trees, TREES!
When will the tyrrany of
Wilderness leave us?

E-Vart, or is it
Ev-art? Foreigners cannot
Discern the right sound

Having one hideously boring week and two days to sit around thinking without distraction is not fun! I should be drinking Mai Tais or something, goddamnit.
Actually, that's a fantastic idea. Any other suggestions for tropical drinks I should try? XP

I heard the lyrics to the Muse song "Supermassive Black Hole" as "Supermagic Fraggle Whore." And I think my version is pretty splendid, honestly.